Six Weeks and 17 pounds lighter

On November 20th, actually the 21st, I did my six week weigh in and boy did I feel good when the scale tipped at 250 pounds, which meant I was lighter than 250 which hasn't happened in a while. Although my goal was 20 pounds, 17 is close enough, 16 might of made me a little skeptical but 17 made me happy enough. What the number 17 did was allow me to recall all the hard work and dedication that I committed to over the previous six weeks. I was proud of my continued effort, I was further convinced that if I want something, I have what it takes to make it, I was also motivated to continue but more importantly, it changed my life. It changed the way I look at my future, it forced me to seriously look at my past and acknowledge all the ways in which I sabotage myself or simply give up on myself. The truth is and continues to be that I allowed myself to over eat which in turn, turned into increasing fat cells on my tall yet bulky frame. There were days within the six weeks when I cried about the days in which I played victim, the days I blamed everyone else (especially my mother) for everything that was going wrong in my life and all those days when I chose not to honor the truth about me. The truth is I am perfect, whole and complete, I have everything I need to make my dreams a reality, I am entitled to a good life, I am capable of excellent health and wellness, I may be old(er) but I have the strength and endurance to succeed.

I think the running helps me to really understand what I am capable of. When I take my long runs of 11 and 12 miles, I realize once I'm back at home that I'm only a mile away from running a half marathon. Who would of thunk (six months ago) that I would be able to run a marathon or even a half marathon. I am sometimes in awe and in wonder about how I do it. But with each step, each stride, with each forward movement, with each rounded intersection, with each mile marker, with each fast food restaurant passed, with each crack in the sidewalk, I am humbled by the experience of physical endurance. What happens next is the realization that if I have this type of endurance, surely I have mental, emotional and spiritual endurance to reach other goals in my life. This experience has also helped me to return to my hearts desire, to finally accept that I had a dream for myself and the time has come for me to actualize that dream for myself. I can do it and I know I can.

The next six week marker will occur on December 31st, how apropo but a nice ending to a year full of change, most of which was unexpected. I want to be down another 20 pounds or thereabouts. I hope despite the call of 'old man winter' I will continue to run and find the joy of increasing my mileage. I have a plan B if winter wants to drop too much snow for running, so no worries. I have plan A for my life which will require some major changes and some diehard discipline and mental focus but I'm up for the challenge, I'm up for what 2012 has in store for me, I get the sense that something really good is on the horizon or the good has already began, my primary goal is to stick with the good and let my life be a reflection of what is possible given a little stamina, patience and faith. Honestly, I just feel blessed, I am totally honored and humbled at the goodness within my life, moving through my body and swirling in my mind, I can't say thank you enough to the universal energy that supports my every effort. I am grateful for every little thing in my life, my prayer is to spread this joy quietly and fervently because what we all need now more than ever is some 'good news!'