Posts
Okay, I've decided to do something completely crazy and unique, instead of writing my morning pages in my journal, I've decided to inflict the cyber-field with my free writing and while I'm a little concerned about the days when I will write things that may indicate some emotional instability or excess information with raw vulnerability, it's okay. I wish I could figure out how many words I've typed so that I can stop at some certain point but we live and we learn.
Okay, so the words I want to share as we enter in the new is this, 2008 wasn't a bad year. It was a year of change and a year that presented events that will hopefully challenge the human race to take pause and consider every action that we take. I'm a fan of chaos because what arises from the ash of mass confusion and dysfunction is clarity, is a new beginning, is a chance for positive change, is an awakening that signifies the truth and the truth is the universe is open to endless opportunities. I'm feeling as if 2008 taught me valuable lessons and confirmed my deepest fears. Luckily, I had started to live below my means back in 2001, so when financial challenges occurred, for the most part I was unaffected, at least I wasn't affected in any major way. Of course the price of everything increased but when one lives below their means, there is cushion for increases. Had I been living above my means, I would of felt the stress of trying to figure out where to come up with more money. So financially I'm still living at or below the poverty level but when I take a close look at my life, I have everything and I do mean everything that I need. This having of everything that I need is a complete blessing and the reason why my life is wonderful.
Lastly, what 2008 reiterated for me is the simple fact that the things I truly desire, money can't buy. This became crystal clear when I took a job making twice as much as I'm making right now. The job wasn't the problem but there was a problem with the working environment and I'm choosing to be vague so as to not give energy to negativity, what I do know is I gave it my best but then one day I realized I deserved better. Better meant asking for my old job but at least in my old job I feel safe, I feel a part of the team, I feel respected, I feel like I make a valuable contribution, I feel supported, I feel I fit, I feel that the work I do is good and I feel as if the people I work for are committed to maintaining a positive working environment. Sure I miss the extra and I do mean extra money but the peace I feel, outweighs the misery. Nonetheless, this lesson challenged me to think about what I want to do with my life and what I'm doing with my life and where I want to be with my life. Also, I recognized that if I can put this amount of work into working situations and watch the company/organization/institution thrive surely I can put that energy into things that I'm passionate about.
So what am I passionate about? Writing, comedy (I love laughing), storytelling, helping people to succeed and I still have the filmmaking bug although I'm taking a short hiatus. I've committed some time to all of the activities I'm passionate about but what I realize is that I didn't have a plan and no clear goals. I have clear 2009 goals or at least a list of actions that I will take in support of my personal goal.
I will share a few of my 2009 action items, these are not new year resolutions. I'm taking a comedy class and it starts January 12th. I'm working on one story per week for either public telling or for print publishing. But my main focus is on being open and listen to my inner voice while not having any expectations, my goal is to be curious about life and not put it in a box.
My mantra for 2009 is 2009 is mine and it sounds selfish but it's not, it's my commitment to myself, to live a healthy life, to engage in the things that my heart desires and to open to love. I'm really working on staying focus on eating more healthy, growing food in a community garden, buying organic as much as I can and finding more ways to respect the planet and create self sustainability. Yeah, I'm going green and looking to decrease my carbon imprint.
I'll close by saying that if anyone knows how to figure out word count, please drop me a line otherwise I'll just write for however long my soul desires.
2008 was a wonderful year for introspection, for increased conscious behavior, for realizing that money can't buy what we really desire, for opening up the collective consciousness and for the most amazing act of people power I've seen in a long time. In 2008 America elected it's first Black president but more than that American put into action, in a concrete way the words of our constitution. I recall the words of Barbara Jordan, who states her faith in the constitution, in her memory I say, America exercised it's faith in the constitution and that alone superseded everything else. In 2008 I felt like I belonged in America and that's a feeling that no amount of money can buy. Peace and cornbread because this is only the beginning.
