April 8, 2009 @ 6:30am

Not only is it hump day but it's the eight day of the month, the month is rushing past and I need to catch up. This is the 98th day of the year and I am making a hundred day commitment to morning pages in the form of free writing whatever comes to mind. The next hundred days of the year will be focused on writing more what I will refer to as social commentary, to write about current events and make the spiritual connection if I can but more than anything I am attempting to form an intelligible argument, understandable and perhaps evocative. I'm always thinking about everything that goes on and I tend to make comments to others or to myself without even really thinking about it but I'm curious about the writing that might come out of my commitment to write these cultural interpretations. I'm interested in moving the writing to another level and place. I like what I have done over the last hundred days, I'm proud of myself and the day to day way I have come to the page with no expectations but to write at least something. I've grown as a person through this time and I have witnessed my relationship to writing become less combative and more a place of nurture and in some instances, it feels down right cathartic.
I love to write is has been my passion since I was a little girl, I enjoy coming to the page for exploration or creation of life. In many instances real life has failed me on some level and on the page I tend to create what would be desirable or at least realistic if only people would slow down and remember who they are. I've been at this thing called writing for a while, I have mixed emotions about it, if the truth be told. Most days I think I'm no good at it, which reminds me of the way I felt about my looks, both thoughts are completely untrue. On other days I wish for Toni Morrison to possess me and I create work that enters the world like hers but in my heart of heart, I can hear Toni saying that I don't need to be like her or possess her or even have my work enter the world like hers, I get the feeling that this way of expressing myself creatively is a unique gift full of stuff that can only come from me and I suspect that the work will enter the world in its own way, a way I can't fathom at this time but I feel as if I have something to share, something to give and a story to tell. It will do my heart good for one soul to say that they related enough to my work in such a way that they feel compelled to live their best life. In spirituality it is often said that we shouldn't have any expectations but this desire to connect is not an expectation but a desire for the inevitable because if we are already connected then it's really just a fantasy of what is already happening but in a more concrete way, a way centered around creative expression.
I think I have pretty much made up my mind about what I want to do with my life. I am putting it out into the universe and allowing the majesty of the universal energy to work it's magic and intricate shifting. My vision is clear and I am stepping head first into this moment, I recognizing that anything is possible, I am in unification with spirit and feel this vision is designed specifically for me and I feel as if I am already there, right where I want to be. What I am sensing is that for the first time in my life, I am finally asking myself the question, I have neglected to ask and that is, "what do I really want to do?" What is my purpose here on this planet and what I am going to do in the spirit of God to make my world and the world around me a better place. And what is it that I can do in service to God and humanity and self. I found the answer, it's so simple and anti-climatic but it feels perfect, it feels divine and he funny thing about it is it's nothing new, it's something I have already done, it's just a new perspective on it. Now I am doing it for me and not for anyone else, now I am doing it for my greater good and not because I have been made to feel guilty or obligatory. Today I announce my life goal because I want the universal energy and all divine spirits to come in union with this effort. I am a science professor who teaches college students and in the midst of transferring scientific knowledge to other I write different kinds of books. Everything about this feels like perfection, it fills every pore in my body and I get all tingly with a big smile on my face. I am a chemistry professor and I write books.
Today's affirmation from science of mind is Today I turn my attention to God's perfect timing, and allow healing to take place as I go with the perfect flow of the universe.
I am perfect and I am whole and I am complete. I LOVE ME!