February 23, 2008 @ 6:37am

As God's beloved, I joyfully expand my awareness of the presence of my sweetheart in ALL of creation. www.scienceofmind.com affirmation.
I slept really well last night and I give credit to the exercise video I did yesterday. And the results of a good nights rest made me get up and do the video again this morning. In my mind I was dancing, having fun and not really exercising although I had my occasional moments of counting down, a habit of mine. It just felt good to be moving my body, to be honoring this vessel that I've been bestowed and give it the motion for better living.
Jeremiah and I went to the movies, I'm not sure if this is possible but I get this feeling that I love him more and more each day. It's like that with all of my children, I find myself loving them more and more as if I can't love them enough. The movie made me laugh, I struggle with plot in Tyler Perry's movies, not so much the plot but the way he moves the plots forward, the awkward gaps and suddenly your dropped into a scene with so much emotion and intensity but only to pulled away from it with comedy that seems jarring and inappropriate. I learn from him and I can't help but appreciate and honor his tenacity to make films for black people. Jeremiah loved the film, he laughed so hard it was a joy to watch him be so happy. I wish this type of happiness for him at all times.
I continue to work on myself, I continue to witness the forward steps I make toward being more in my moments and embracing the presence of the divine within me. I keep listening to the talks by Moira Foxe, I'll run out of them soon but it doesn't matter because her short talks are so powerful and so full of substance, I can listen to them a million times and on each take find something new and evocative. I'm really challenging myself to fully embrace this notion of having everything I need and not looking outside of myself for those things. I think this concept has an element of concern for me because I'm a loner, someone who has no problem with being alone and surely I don't ask others for anything. I have felt that I needed to be more open with people and receptive to receiving and to think of myself as having everything I need makes me wonder if I will close myself off to people. I wonder this but there is a still small voice in my mind that convinces me otherwise.
The truth of my experience is this, I seem to be more open to the complexity of human kind, the more I embrace the truth of wholeness. I'm finding a level of patience but inner knowing that is not irritated or bothered by and I don't need to tolerate, actually I find that I'm overjoyed with the spiritual knowledge that they too can know the truth. I'm compassionate because I know that each different is differnt and unique much like our human mark. I'm loving because in this space of spiritual understanding I get that we are one and although I don't by into that old philosophy that says if one isn't free no one is free, NO, what I know is that since I know freedom and since I am interconnected to all humanity then the possibility of freedom for all huamnkind is available. And at the same time, God in all his infinite wisdom gave us "free will" which guarantees the chance to experience life in a multitude of ways. As I witness the pain and suffering I send forth God energy for healing and at the same time I know that the choices individuals will make is the ultimate determiner of their lives. I trust that people will make the appropriate choices, even when I know the choices don't serve them but I have to remember that I too made choices, many and many choices that did not serve my humanity but I'm here, so if I have the capacity to come from a place where nothing but darkness surrounded me, surely anyone can come into the light. The light of love, the light of truth, the light of wholeness, the light of perfection and the light of God.
It's a beautiful Monday morning, a bit chilly but the sun has negotiated a leading role, I'm always grateful to the clouds that side step for periods of time, so that the sun can allow her rays to give us enrgetic rays of hope, light and warmth. I guess life is much like this, sometimes we let our light shine, other times the clouds block are light and then in the action of getting closer to truth, we negotiate for a chance to let our light shine, taking what we can get but knowing our time is coming.
I am perfect and I am whole and I am complete. I LOVE ME.