February 21, 2009 @ 8:19am

As God's beloved, I am thrilled to know that all of my brothers and sisters are beloved, too! We are equally loved and equally blessed by our Divine Lover. Daily affirmation www.scienceofmind.com.
Survivor's syndrome has been the biggest block in my life, I always wonder why and how I made it without so much as a scratch or a bump or without drug or alcohol addiction or without any significant violent experience, I always wonder and for so many years I felt guilty that I would have such blessings while others did not. I spent so much time in self sabotage mode, so that my life would be insignificant because surely I didn't deserve the goodness that seemed to flow to me effortlessly. I dumbed myself down and shifted myself from the spotlight and I tried to cover it all up. And time after time, after time, after time, God was always good to me and blessing flow like water into my life. And I'll never forget a woman who challenged me to think about what I was doing. She said it's easy for you to be somebody amongst people who have no sense of themselves but she wondered why I didn't take my gifts and talents and allow them to flourish amidst those who were more famous because in her eyes she could see my capability and she questioned why I would settle for anything less than the best. I hated her for saying that to me, I kept her words bottled up in a place where I told myself that she couldn't possibly know anything because she was a heroine addict or in recovery, what could she possibly know. I realize to day that God isn't picky about who is chosen to deliver messages and sometimes the very people that we think can't deliver messages are the one's specifically appointed to bring us the light but of course we are to ingrained with the EGO to really embrace the truth from it's odd source.
Today's affirmation does two things, it acknowledges that everyone, all my brother and sister earthling, human beings have the same love and in that I don't have to live with guilt. It also inherrantly evokes the truth about everyone and confirms that if the God presence is in everyone then the message can come from anyone. It opens up this space where I don't have to feel sorry for people but bless them and send positive energy that they too will tap into their God given soul and bring forth in their own lives the goodness that God has for them. To say a small prayer for their eyes to open to truth, To say a pray for their hearts to lean into the arms of the divine, to say a prayer for them to see the oneness they have with the holy spirit, to pray that they come to understand they too are perfect, whole and complete, to pray that they come to know love as something that is inside of them, to pray that they feel the light of moment, to pray with a deep sincerity that they will come to God in their fullness. To replace the guilt with a knowing that they will be more in their moments and that for now this is what there experience needs to be to get them there. Lord I know that paths vary wildly and widely.
I was just listening to a talk by Moira Fox at the Redondo Beach Center for Spiritual Living and she begged the question, are you ready to take responsibility for your life? It sounded like a question for children or high school graduates but it was a deeply profound spiritual question. She went on to say that are you really ready to take responsibility for your life, to stop the blamming, to stop find fault in others, to stop finger pointing, and to stop keeping score of the supposed self-identified wrong doings of others. I love Moira and the way she digs deep into your understanding, the way she dispels the myths of social interaction and the dysfunctional ways we construct our lives. What good does it really do for me to spend my time blaming, pointing, fault finding other people and to add more dysfunction on top, to keep a damn score card why is that. The thought that I am not my experiences is such a profound concept, to come to understand that I am not the sum of what happens, I am the sum of what I think because although I can't control my experiences, because thoughts control my experiences, I have the wonderful gift and power to control my thoughts which will affect my experience. It's like having full access to the special button and the middle button. This power seems so amazing and then Moira talked about what to do when you're in the midst of situations with people who aren't living up to their Godly potential, your only goal is to not blame, point, find fault but to bless them, to keep blessing them until they come to know the truth. To bless them knowing that God has complete control of the experience and to recognize that I am not what I'm experiencing because in reality it doesn't have anything to do with me, it all has to do with that's persons stuff. I'm perfect, whole and complete, even when the man yells at me or when the co-worker talks about me behind my back or when someone sabotages my efforts or when I'm second guessed or being undermined, I'm not that stuff.
Every day I think about how much wasted time I spent, how many careless and unconscious decisions I made based on the blaming, the fault finding, the finger pointing and score card keeping of others. I had the three strike rule or the philosophies about what I would tolerate and what I wouldn't or I had this need to recognize what was wrong in people at the expense of seeing what was right with them and the joys of being a full-time habitual victim is that wonderous act of placing all the blame on anybody but myself because it was easier. It's easy to see others in a not so easy light and hard as hell to take full responsibility for one's life. As hard as it is, I hadn't expected the sense of liberation and freedom and love and understanding that comes with full responsibility. At first of course I shifted the outer blame into internalized blame, blaming myself for everything. Pointing the finger at me and finding fault in everything I did and lord knows I had filled up so many score cards, I wondered if there were any more cards available to me, really. But the shift came when I began to work with my thoughts when I began to accept the spiritual truth and be more present in my moments. There has been so much relief and joy that comes to me through accepting what is and letting all the stuff go.
There is so much power in creating a vision for my reality and watching it manifest over time. Allowing God to use as clay my thoughts and witness the transformative hands of spirit mold my life into a wonderful blessing, full of goodness, joy, peace and most importantly Love.
I am perfect and I am whole and I am complete. I LOVE ME!!!