January 25, 2009 @ 7:00am

Right now, I am still and know that I am a powerful co-creator. All my dreams are within my grasp. I see them; I feel them; I live them. I am grateful (www.scienceofmind.com).
Good Morning Life and what a wonderful Sunday. Sundays are my favorite day of the week, mostly because I don't really do anything or not much besides clean the house so that I can start the week with a fresh and clean space. Sunday is a time for me to mediate for a longer period of time, Sunday is a time for introspection, Sunday is a time for feet, Sunday is a time for dancing, Sunday is for anything interesting and cool. Sundays feel miraculous and full of life. I was born on a Sunday which might be why the holds so much energy for me. While growing up, Sunday was a full day of activity, so much so I had to take a nap in between some of those activities. My mother generally cooked a realy special breakfast and in the midst of all that, she prepared dinner as well. Sunday mornings were mornings full of baths, showers, ironing clothes, arguing, playing and all the stuff that goes into getting ready for church, especially when a single woman has three children. I loved waking up to the smell of fried bacon, there are some days I wish I could wake up to the smell of fried bacon but in order for that to happen, I'd have to cook it and then pretend to go back to sleep to smell it.
I am still, I am open to each moment, I am alive and I am content. There is a way in which writig can engulf the mind, shoveling my consciousness into an air of whirlwind and flow. I' m lost to the spell of creativity, like a kid in a candy store and I don't want to come out. The way words, thoughts, ideas, storyline and scenes wrap against muse, swaddling that part of me that simply wants to write simply wants to give voice to the girlchild who has lived confusion into productive being. I'm emeshed in the characters world, often being told what to do and I don't mind although I have never enjoyed anyone telling me what to do. I want to lay out the actions of this parallel soul with active sentences full of life and continuity. The weaving in an dout of inner and external drama, reflecting realistic portrail of a life lived. Remembering sight, sound, touch, smell and taste is chief challenge. Blending sensation with action, blending what is emotive with what is plainly linked to physicality. To be with the voice of minor who has a way of expressing life uniquely, expressing life as she knows it and expressing what is true for her in the moment. Getting into the scene and pulling out, avoiding spending time explaining things that can be understood through mechanisms that allow me to show. Finding the genuine voice of my main character, she is scared, she is smart, she is confused, she is alone, she is discovering, she is head strong, she is alive and she is going to figure it out as best she can given the amount of knowledge that comes with her gentle age.
I was watching an interview with Elizabeth Gilbert who wrote Eat, Pray, Love. I enjoyed her book, it was full of insight about how to beg the question, who am I? She proposed a thought which was, what would happen if you discovered that you picked the life you have, if you before being born you picked your parents and I sometimes think that this is true. I've strteed to write this story where I'm looking into the earth consciousness and I gaze upon the planet and I land on a mass of earth dirt called the United States, somehow I zoom into Michigan the mitten shaped state, it's appealing to me for some reason I won't really understand unitl I am born but although my parents never married or spent any time together once I was born, I have this thought of seeing them at work because this is where my mother told me she met my father. Somehow I am able to have this bird's eye view of them meeting and starting their courtship. There is so much love energy around them, I tell myself to stay close to them because there is something amazing in their aura's. And I enjoy this imagined thought of my parents being in love, the newness of being attracted to one another and the pureness of their affection for one another, that divine time before the ego sets in and tries to tear love away. I'm most proud of my mother who is reserve but open and how full her heart is for a man that really seems to actually enjoy her for herself. And my father, he's figuring out life too but the glow that eminates from him is simply mind altering because he too has open his heart space, he too wants to know the sacredness of love and he too feels that he is receiving from my mother something genuine and real. I imagine the moment they're about to make love. In my pre-world space people have light energy around them, it is colorful to the pre-world eyes, there is no vision of what the actual physical body looks like, it's just light with speckling color depending on the spirit's condition at the time. Bright lights illumine especially purple and this is an indication of love energy, so as my parents are about to engage in there physical act of pre-conception, the glow around them expands allow us floating spirits to enter the space and providing a chance to enter the physical world. I have to race because several other spirits are vying for the life center but somehow I made it in and I know this is because I have already asked God for this chance long before these others. As they make love, the earthly physical act, I rush in and hovering around the life spot that will be infected with the other live match, once the two unite I have exactly one second to enter if I am to be born and enter into the physical world. I was hanging out on one side of the uterus when I notice a mass of wiggling life spots heading to the other side of the uterus where a bundle of light drops were situated, I hovered over there and then before I could figure it all out, the male life force entered the female life force it was so beautiful i just wanted to watch but remembered if I wanted to be born I had only a second to energy the big bang. I enter the unionized life force, there is a moment of shear silence as if I was back at home, the space was open and then I felt as if the lights went off. it took a minute but this is when I realized I had successfully been born and I had not done this before so I would just have to hang out and discover what this journey was going to be like.
I am perfect and I whole and I am complete. I LOVE ME.