January 11, 2009 @ 2:00pm

I went on and fell in love with winter but suspected that it was not feeling me with the same intensity. It's taunting and invigorating mood and picturesque appearance, all I could do was fall like snowflakes into the space of frigid decision, a symphony of high level good. I argue that the quiet of winter has a loud voice in the echoes of footprints in the snow, in the shift of leaves that cause the pile of white matter to flutter to the ground or the way a substance of light water crystal covers the land leaving no peaks at what was. I can see the silhouette of life and find comfort in the outline, the simple essence of things and the solitude of raw matter.
I walked the street side of winters drop, stomping through the slush and feeling the energy at this lower level of temperature. I want to know how old man winter negotiates with the Sun's need to glow, what type of dance, what type of environmental stage one exchanges the leading role. I can't say I miss the solar ball, it is not necessary in the mist of this highly patterned ocean laid upon inner cities and streets.
It is a walking meditation to traverse land kissed by snow and hugged with single digit temperatures. Like a molecule I move and bounce off wedges of static wonder and crystalline miracles. I am wet with wonder, angelic for more circles of wavelight prisms. Atomic reality pushes me toward the dark caverness of hardened days needing nothing more than attention. We humans, a soccer ball moving wayward trying to decide if the day is ours or that of the season. I'm not blending, just eating fringe and wanting cubes that clink against my heated mind. The state of malleability, the poly-carbonate craving and oxygen is my friend. A push to demonstrate the off way memory is discovered and packed into a ball. What need is there for floral suggestions in the landscape? Blank blanketed places are moist and easy as Sunday.
I looked it up on microfiche the temperment of the day I was born. A Sunday in January, in a year of stubborn protest to civil rights and the snow fell at the second highest, it is a wonder that I was even born inside of a hospital but there I was making an entre, a visit or an unwanted force or life and loud air. My first glance at the outside was white with precise molecular movement and unsettling lack of the bantering of beings. Perhaps they have died off and returned to major frequency from whince I had just come but this couldn't be for the maternal offering of milk had to be an indication of the need to receive this life with thanksgiving. The heart of this conduit was warm but broken. She barely smiled at my perfection yet her hands pulled me close, closer yet not close enough. She had no warning that I would be a wandering spirit, I was simply the first and the reflection of love's cataclismic spike. The co-creator never arrived that day or any day there after, this surprised me and I was not aware his absense was commonplace in the physical world, was a result of gender expectation without regard for sol palpitation. But kin swarmed upon my newness, swept me into their arms and cuddled my questioning soul. These distant nurturers added life force and cosmic generosity. The life field was nothing like I had expected, nothing like the other times that I had transcended. I found the nub on my hand comforting and a substitute for liquid I drew from flesh. I had no intention other than to live. I would understand my birth day is that when beings commune with the universal oneness and I would be considered lucky. In the down shift of my cries I tried to communicate the non-existence of luck but too happy at my arrival, there hearts would not receive this fact. I went about expansion within this world with the knowing that change was the only predictable event and I would use life as an experiment, a time to discover what if anything in the sphere is quantum, celestial or synergistic with love. After 40 years of being here, I'm still struggling to embrace or uncover this enlightenment.
Today's affirmation from www.scienceofmind.com: Right now, I honor the love that created and sustains me. I feel it flow over me, and I allow it to flow from me. I am becoming the love I wish to experience.
I am perfect and I am whole and I am complete. I LOVE ME.