It's Thursday and although the sun is trying to make it's appearance, snow is trying to share the day's limelight but I'm not worried because I wore my son's infamous Eskimo hat and keeps me super warm.
Today's affirmation: The gifts of the Spirit spill out through me daily as peace, joy, wisdom, intelligence, healing, and love. As I greet everyone, Spirit's gold shines through me this day (www.scienceofmind.com). This affirmation is so inspiring and not in the normal sense but in the way that one might feel when a light bulb goes off in there head about a matter that they know subconsciously but somehow it has been made clear on a conscious level, the clarity is rewarding and comforting. I'm inspired because there is something inside of me that wants to connect to people in a simple yet positive way. There is this genuine desire to make people laugh, to identify what I know is the good inside and outside of them. I feel present and as if I am honoring my God given instinctual nature because there is nothing that brings me joy than helping people or making people smile or engaging people at a their basic core. I can't help but want to see the good in people and it pains me to see people not willing or wanting to show up in a state of their internal goodness. It pains me to realize that people find the need to be cold, distant, mean or negative is a result of the pain they suffered their entire lives, I know this feeling but for some reason I have had this amazing opportunity to rise above it all. And this elevation has come with lots of work on myself, lots of tears, lots of falling down and getting back up but most of all lots of bring honest with myself which hasn't been easy. At the end of the day I realize that if I don't make the choice to change, if I don't make the choice to know that I am more than my mistakes or so called mistakes because when I look back I can see that most everything that has happened to me has made me who I am and why would I want to deny any of it. I sometimes wonder why the path was so challenging but then I recoginize the truth about myself, I'm a complex, challenging, opinionated, highly-thinking and determined person which translate to a hard head and a soft behind, in the words of my father. I realize I am a person who could not be told to do anything, I was only going to learn by experience and I have way too many experiences to recollect at any given moment. However, I get the sense that each experience has brought me closer to wholeness, to understanding myself, to peace of mind, to inexhaustible joy and the perfect place of unconditional love. The journey felt like an unlivable suffering but I made it and as the old saying goes, God doesn't give you more than you can handle. Of course, I want to talk to God about all this stuff I need to handle but in so many ways, I created so much of my reality and therefore if I could create it, surely I can uncreate it. What a revelation, what a duty or pledge. It's that I need to uncreate, it's just that I need to recreate realizing the power within me to govern my life in co-counsel with the divine.
Yolanda Adams sings this gospel song that makes me cry every time I hear it, these are tears of joy that flush away the tears of pain and heartache. I open up my heart is the name of the inspiration tune. And at the beginning and she bellows, "I'm alone in the room and it's just between me and you, I feel so lost, cause I don't know what to do. What if I choose the wrong thing to do, I'm so afraid, afraid of disappointing you. So I need to talk to you and ask you for your guidance, especially today when mind is so cloudy lord, guide me until I'm through, I open up my heart." There it is, my daily prayer, the words I beckon before spirit and the way I live my life. I'm tired of being a know it all, tired of thinking about what I need to do next and coming up empty handed, tired of creating madness in my life. No, today I embrace the good, I open up my heart and I ask for the one thing I never ask for, I ask for help. Help me omniscient presence, be the force of light, love and liberty in my wakeful living. I keep coming back to this issue of surrender because it is the hardest of things for me to break into. Being the oldest has meant a tremendous amount of responsibility, has ingrained this need to be in complete and utter control. What I say to myself this day is that it's okay, I'm let off the hook and I don't need to carry the entire load anymore, I have a friend, a confidant, a partner, a lover, a teacher, a holy spirit that will not only guide but protect and create the unspeakable and intangible into existence for my greater good and in the energy of the only thing that matters, LOVE.
I am perfect and I am whole and I am complete. I LOVE ME!
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Thursday, March 12, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
March 11, 2009 @ 8:29am
Good Morning Life and what a happy Wednesday it is. I feel good today and in this moment I'm continuing to be conscious of spirit and the indwelling energy that supports my mind, body and soul. I'm moving into my life the way I've always wanted to, which is with a sense of knowing that my truest desires will and are being manifested. I'm feeling the results of being focused as oppose to spreading myself around or being scattered. And there is an opening within me full of wonder.
Today's affirmation: The gifts of the Spirit spill out through me daily as peace, joy, wisdom, intelligence, healing, and love. Through anticipation of only good, I am in clear readiness for Divine inspiration (www.scienceofmind.com).
I love this line in this morning's affirmation that states "anticipation of only good, I am in clear readiness for Divine inspiration." It is a joy to understand the good that in store for one's life or to realize all the good that is ever present. Equally, I'm excited about Divine inspiration because I was just reading some spiritual leadership and a question posed was "aren't you tired of trying to micromanage the universe?" And my resounding answer was "HELL YES!" I feel as if I've had to manage my whole life from the time I was little, I had to do and be and do and be all over again. I lived my life with this real need to be in control, to strive and attain perfection so that no one could bother me or could have control over me and yet when I look at my life, for all the ways in which I try to control things, I haven't exactly done a good job and it's not to say that things are bad but I can see how, giving over to spirit might of been a better alternative which was something not only was I unable to do but unwilling but more than that, I felt I couldn't because I had no real pull with God or so I thought. I say hell yes because I'm exhausted, I'm tired and quite honestly, for all the forward thinking I engage, at this very moment if I'm honest, I have no clue, I have no idea how to do much of anything anymore. My efforts seem to be for naught and yet I feel this need to do something. In so many ways this inaction that I'm experiencing is so foreign to me and so hard to wrap my head around but what science of mind states is that inaction is the best gift one can give to oneself. It when we stop thinking we know everything or stop thinking we have to be doing a whole bunch of stuff that we allow God to come in, we pause to hear Divine inspiration and we are able to act in accordance with what had always been ours, our GOOD.
I recall several years ago, which is a good recollection because it's a milestone in my spiritual development, I was struggling with having a drama-free life. Now, I was working on getting rid of the drama in my life, that's when I was heavily into Iyanla Vanzant and she said :everyone can't have a front row seat in your life." In my need to people please, I gave free passes to any and everyone that wanted, for they could have not only a front row seat in my life but they could also share my stage which translated in me doing and being what people wanted me to be. However, with this new spiritual information I was committed to making a change because I was sick and tired of the drama, the excessive, unnecessary, senseless, energy-sucking, time-consuming and financially-draining drama that swirled my life completely out of control. So, there I was one day after having had several days and maybe even weeks of little to no drama in my life and what did I do once I recognized this, well instead of appreciating what was present, I went out and got me some drama. The old-fashion high quality drama but luckily the real power of being in a drama-less situation stuck with me and I was able to identify the ways in which I was re-introducing drama in my life and the ways in which I was engaging drama because I felt that somehow I was unworthy. I've always stated I'm spiritually special ed and/or as the old folks used to say, hard-headed. I learn these lessons but then I go back out there and do a repeat, why? Sometimes I don't know why, I think it's habit or unconscious or just an indication of how I truly value my inner self worth.
Today I am really open to Divine inspiration. I am ready and willing to live fully present and with the tools that govern my spiritual reality. This place of inaction is new but peaceful, comforting, full of joy and full of endless possibility. I don't think I ever really listened to spirit before or if I did it was only partially but now I hear the truth, it is joyous and it it liberating. Bring it on, Divine inspiration, for this is the primary way I desire to conduct my life because it's the only way I will really attain what my heart yearns for.
I am perfect and I am whole and I am complete. I LOVE ME!
Today's affirmation: The gifts of the Spirit spill out through me daily as peace, joy, wisdom, intelligence, healing, and love. Through anticipation of only good, I am in clear readiness for Divine inspiration (www.scienceofmind.com).
I love this line in this morning's affirmation that states "anticipation of only good, I am in clear readiness for Divine inspiration." It is a joy to understand the good that in store for one's life or to realize all the good that is ever present. Equally, I'm excited about Divine inspiration because I was just reading some spiritual leadership and a question posed was "aren't you tired of trying to micromanage the universe?" And my resounding answer was "HELL YES!" I feel as if I've had to manage my whole life from the time I was little, I had to do and be and do and be all over again. I lived my life with this real need to be in control, to strive and attain perfection so that no one could bother me or could have control over me and yet when I look at my life, for all the ways in which I try to control things, I haven't exactly done a good job and it's not to say that things are bad but I can see how, giving over to spirit might of been a better alternative which was something not only was I unable to do but unwilling but more than that, I felt I couldn't because I had no real pull with God or so I thought. I say hell yes because I'm exhausted, I'm tired and quite honestly, for all the forward thinking I engage, at this very moment if I'm honest, I have no clue, I have no idea how to do much of anything anymore. My efforts seem to be for naught and yet I feel this need to do something. In so many ways this inaction that I'm experiencing is so foreign to me and so hard to wrap my head around but what science of mind states is that inaction is the best gift one can give to oneself. It when we stop thinking we know everything or stop thinking we have to be doing a whole bunch of stuff that we allow God to come in, we pause to hear Divine inspiration and we are able to act in accordance with what had always been ours, our GOOD.
I recall several years ago, which is a good recollection because it's a milestone in my spiritual development, I was struggling with having a drama-free life. Now, I was working on getting rid of the drama in my life, that's when I was heavily into Iyanla Vanzant and she said :everyone can't have a front row seat in your life." In my need to people please, I gave free passes to any and everyone that wanted, for they could have not only a front row seat in my life but they could also share my stage which translated in me doing and being what people wanted me to be. However, with this new spiritual information I was committed to making a change because I was sick and tired of the drama, the excessive, unnecessary, senseless, energy-sucking, time-consuming and financially-draining drama that swirled my life completely out of control. So, there I was one day after having had several days and maybe even weeks of little to no drama in my life and what did I do once I recognized this, well instead of appreciating what was present, I went out and got me some drama. The old-fashion high quality drama but luckily the real power of being in a drama-less situation stuck with me and I was able to identify the ways in which I was re-introducing drama in my life and the ways in which I was engaging drama because I felt that somehow I was unworthy. I've always stated I'm spiritually special ed and/or as the old folks used to say, hard-headed. I learn these lessons but then I go back out there and do a repeat, why? Sometimes I don't know why, I think it's habit or unconscious or just an indication of how I truly value my inner self worth.
Today I am really open to Divine inspiration. I am ready and willing to live fully present and with the tools that govern my spiritual reality. This place of inaction is new but peaceful, comforting, full of joy and full of endless possibility. I don't think I ever really listened to spirit before or if I did it was only partially but now I hear the truth, it is joyous and it it liberating. Bring it on, Divine inspiration, for this is the primary way I desire to conduct my life because it's the only way I will really attain what my heart yearns for.
I am perfect and I am whole and I am complete. I LOVE ME!
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