February 27, 2009 @ 8:08am

Good Morning Life and it's a rainy Friday and center stage are the ever lovable greyish blue clouds hoovering, bowing, beckoning for some attention but the butts of our umbrellas greet them and they take it personally.
Today's affirmation from www.scienceofmind.com: As God's beloved, I enjoy the gift of perfect vision as I behold my world. I see only God in all, through all, as all. Life is good!
Life is really good right now and I'm appreciative of that. I meant to get back to my morning pages yesterday but I didn't and I can't quite figure out why because there was time. It was the first day in a long time that I didn't complete this bit of daily writing and it's okay.
I sometimes I wake up in the morning and I say, time to make the donuts. These are the mornings when the bed clutches me and the covers are whipped around me like a straight jacket. I don't want to get up, I don't want to leave the sanctuary of sleep and what I want more than anything are the comforting arms of a lover who in the space of our morning silence bring joy to my body and a communal desire to be locked in a tight knot of dawn's seduction. Or in layman's term, I love morning sex, it's the best, it's the way it bring your body back to the conscious side of living, there is no better way to wake up, to become present and to return to the living moment.
Time to make the donuts is the humor of it all. As if the day is about making donuts and when you think about it, that's all it really is. Metaphorically, it really is about bringing sweetness into the world, showing people the interconnectedness of us all. The whole in the center is the endless possibilities for our world when we join hands and minds and bodies in a circle of infinite connection. If we all could just focus on making life a donut, a sweet light of hope and the optimism that comes within a ring of understanding that together we can do it.
The rain and clouds are rift with melancholy, I try not to go there or walk toward the dark of day. I am habitually in this moment of progress with careless regresssion or the possibility of taking a step back. With every moment of success, it's as if I have to sit down, learn to embrace it and then allow my spirit time to make it one with my mind. I had always wimagined spiritual growth to be this linear motion in time and space, this is not what it's turning out to be, it more like a roller coaster. At first it's scary as shit but then it starts to be fun and exciting and even easy to handle or tolerate but then it might get scary again but since you've had a moment to catch your breathe, you can handle to newfound twist and turns. But before you can get used to it, the ride stops and although you step off and out, you have this sinking suspicion that you'll have to ride it again and you do. I can appreciate the roller coasters in my life now because they are no where near the intensity or drama of life before. It's as if I've developed some protective covering or internal immunity to the ride because it's more like a boat ride than a roller coaster. And if you've ever been a on a boat, it's amazing the view, the subtly of the boat drifting along at a space that seems completely out of synch with what you're experiencing and then there is the connection to sky, God perhaps that makes for a peaceful journey. I love the sound of the ocean, I deserve to live near the ocean. I can't get enough of the clashing waves, the waters language of life, love and gettting along. The push against the shore and the backing off. The bunching up of water to form waves as high as mountains, the energy current that runs through waves must be off the chart. I am seronaded when the waters clap or slap against the earth or simmer like a tea kettle. In my days of suicidal tendencies, I often imagined dying in the water, allowing the spirit of water to take my hand and gently walk me into the hear after. I still say it's the perfect way to segue into God's loving arms. If we are born from the water, why can't we return.
I'm not interested in returning at the moment, only curious about living better with more contentment, with greater expressions of creativity, with continuous moments of love and in a state of constant awe. My prayer this morning is that I, as the donut maker bring about more sweetness in the world, may I mold my love into something others can partake in, savor and find that it is good. I will sprinkle my uniquesness on top and smoother it with my compassion like a frosting made my the world's top pastry makers. I want to link with humanity in an infinite chain and together, I want us to use the wholeness of life, the center of life, the endless possibilities of life to create a wonderous future. It's time to make the donuts, time for me to put on my cap and apron, time to collect the ingredients of patience, understanding, quiet listening, unconditional love and make something.
It's a day of less sunlight, I suspect that the sun needed some time to rest, some time to prepare for the chronic days of shine that come with spring and summer. I claim the potential in this day, use it as a source to fire up my internal light.
I am perfect and I am whole and I am complete. I LOVE ME!